Working in a Universal Timezone with Cosmic Beings

Imagine this: You’ve just joined a new global company. But wait — this isn't your typical corporate job. You’ve been assigned to work in a universal timezone, where time isn’t measured by hours or days, but by cosmic events and intergalactic phenomena. Your colleagues? They’re cosmic beings, aliens, and entities that don’t exactly follow the same rules as your average 9-to-5 Earth schedule.

So, what does a day in the life of working with cosmic beings and aliens in a universal timezone look like? Let’s find out, shall we?

1. Forget Time Zones – Welcome to the Cosmic Clock
You thought working across time zones was tough? Well, in the universal timezone, time isn’t linear — it’s more like a swirling, cosmic soup that bends around black holes, asteroids, and the occasional passing comet. The “workday” technically starts when the nearest star goes nova, and ends when the universe experiences a minor hiccup in the fabric of space-time.

Imagine scheduling a meeting with your colleague, Zorath, a five-dimensional entity from a distant galaxy. You send an invite for 8 AM Earth time, but Zorath replies with a note: “I’ll be free after the Gamma Ray Burst at 2:45 galactic standard time.” You’re left staring at your calendar, wondering if you're supposed to show up in the past, the future, or somewhere in between.

2. Cosmic Beings and Coffee Breaks
Every office has coffee breaks, but cosmic beings don't drink coffee. Oh no, they prefer more *exotic* beverages. You head to the break room, only to find Xyla, a being made entirely of dark matter, sipping on what looks like a swirling vortex of energy. You ask if you can get a cup of *regular* coffee, and she laughs, her voice echoing across multiple dimensions, “Coffee? I absorb the universe’s entropy and turn it into pure thought energy. Try it sometime!”

Meanwhile, Bob from accounting, is in the corner grumbling about how the coffee machine is broken again. It seems the intergalactic office perks are a bit... *unconventional*.

3. The Eternal Battle of “What’s for Lunch?”
You think choosing between pizza or salad is a tough decision? Wait until you’re working with beings who don’t need physical sustenance. You walk into the lunchroom, and Glort, an alien with three heads and the ability to manipulate gravity, is holding a shimmering orb in the air. “It’s lunch time,” he announces, and you immediately realize that “lunch” in this universe could mean anything from absorbing solar radiation to consuming the essence of a supernova. You quickly opt for a simple earthling sandwich, but Glort insists you “taste the nebula dust salad.” No, thanks.

As for Skrillex, your boss who’s a sentient cloud of plasma, he prefers to “ingest the fundamental particles of the universe.” At first, you think it’s a metaphor, but nope. Skrillex actually absorbs and feeds off quantum fluctuations, and somehow that powers his leadership skills. Not sure if you’re jealous or terrified.

4. The Infinite Meeting Cycles
Remember those dreaded conference calls that never seem to end? Now, imagine trying to join a meeting with your colleagues from across alternate timelines and parallel universes. The meeting invite shows up with the subject “Multidimensional Business Update,” and the description includes phrases like “10-minute interlude to discuss spacetime anomalies” and “brief analysis of galactic superstructures.”

You log in (or, should we say, “fold into the meeting room” via wormhole technology), and Torvak, the seven-eyed alien strategist, is presenting slides that keep shifting in and out of existence. At one point, your screen freezes, and you get stuck in a time loop where the same slide keeps appearing over and over again. You can’t even mute the call because sound doesn’t exist in the same way when you’re dealing with beings who communicate via thought waves.

“Please hold your questions,” says Torvak, “we’re currently waiting for the quantum interference to resolve.” You stare at your screen, wondering if you’ll ever get back to your 3rd-dimensional problems.

5. The “Time Is a Social Construct” Colleague
Every office has that one colleague who always runs late, but what if your tardy colleague isn’t *just* late because they slept in? Meet Vorma, the intergalactic time traveler who casually strolls into the office 17 hours after the official start time. “Oh, sorry, I was in the middle of preventing the destruction of a parallel dimension. I lost track of time,” she says, with a nonchalant shrug.

You realize it’s not that Vorma’s lazy or forgetful — it’s just that, for beings like her, time is relative. She’s used to hopping between universes where seconds, minutes, and hours all happen simultaneously. Just when you think it’s finally safe to make your meeting with her, she informs you she’ll be in the 12th dimension for the next few hours and will email you *from the future*. Cool, right?

6. Working with Aliens: Surviving the Cosmic Workday
As the workday progresses, you start to get the hang of it — or at least, you think you do. You no longer worry about whether your boss is an intangible cloud or a black hole. You embrace the unpredictability of your team’s schedules. Sure, your calendar is full of paradoxes, supernova bursts, and time ripples, but it’s all part of the job. If there’s one thing you’ve learned, it’s this: when you work with cosmic beings and aliens, you’re never really late for work. Time just doesn’t work like that.

And as the day finally winds down, you glance at the universal clock, which is counting down to the next galactic event — a comet passing through your office’s building at light speed. You make a note to join your team’s meeting at the next universal dawn — whenever that may be.

In the end, working in a universal timezone with cosmic beings is… an experience. You’ll never look at your 9-to-5 the same way again, but hey — who needs Earthly time when you have access to the entire universe’s schedule?